I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
