Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
