I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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