i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
