Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
