I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
