thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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