there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
