I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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