im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
