Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
