She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
