You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
