You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
