I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
