I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize