he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
