You really coming over, don't trick.
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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