you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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