It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
