Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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