Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
