Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
