Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize