Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
