I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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