rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
