Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
