She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
