I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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