my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I need a burrito and a hug.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
