well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if sheβs alive, you can thank me
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize