so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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