i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
