My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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