I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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