I think I just saw someone hide a body.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
