I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
