lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
