How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
