Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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