yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
