i don't like sucking hair
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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