I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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