Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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