i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
