And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
