I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Drunk is not a location!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
