As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
