I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
