We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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