so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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