Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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