Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
vagina is talking i cant
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
