I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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