I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
