I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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