you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize