I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
ok first of all what the fuck
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
