You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
