His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
