I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
