She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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