I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize