I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
