I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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