1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
