All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
