I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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