just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
