I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
