We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
All the doctor said was why
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
