Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
